Present Becomes The Past

by The Gates Of Sleep

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glitch The Gates Of Sleep shows a truly masterful understanding of lyrical style, from brutally emotional songs like Undilate, to songs like Bread Drawer Hiatus that clash with their lyrics in a unique and unsettling way. Present Becomes The Past tells a very important story, and one that really needs to be heard. Favorite track: Can't Fight The Wicked.
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1.
02:47
If you can get away, you'd be best to Try not to end the way the rest do There's no telling when the storm hits That's why they call her Snowhearted (x3)
2.
Dreamers see straight through the pain I'll pull my head up and forget all my dignity How could I be more wrong, 'cause with her I live happily I'll write this silly song, then it's back to the pageantry She's falling asleep and her lips are making words again A cult, there's a colt, there's a cult, and it's inside of me How dare you do me wrong, 'cause with you there's no reasoning My eyes, they tell me lies, so I'm lighting up a flare to see I'm living in a lie and I don't want it to die I'm living in a lie and I don't want it to die I am sure I've seen it all, but that's what makes it hard It's better to escape so I'm pulling out the floss I'm in a bread drawer and I'm taking a hiatus Taking leave of my defenses has never been so quite easy I won't leave until I'm done with all of these petty trances Four more names brighten my screen Using light that they steal from my darkened eyes I'll meet my maker from this stress If he hadn't left then I wouldn't be in such a mess I'm living in a lie and I don't want it to die I'm living in a lie and I don't want it to die I am sure I've seen it all, but that's what makes it hard It's better to escape so I'm pulling out the floss I'm in a bread drawer and I'm taking a hiatus Taking me far past the line I had never really wanted to cross If I know me and I'm sure I don't, I'll never forgive this moment I can't do it on my own But all these hands that roam I'd always detest it Fried like a piece of toast Toast (x6) We'll walk this world hand-in-hand I knew it was too good, just too good, too good to be true Hopelessly combing the earth Don't look back, that's the price for my safety How could I start again, she's taken all I have to give Drinking it all in like the feelings I can't feel again If I look enough, I will find this portal that I seek Take me to a life where I can love someone freely I'm living in a lie and I don't want it to die I'm living in a lie and I don't want it to die I am sure I've seen it all, but that's what makes it hard It's better to escape so I'm pulling out the floss I'm in a bread drawer and I'm taking a hiatus Living in a lie and I don't want it to die I am sure I've seen it all, but that's what makes it hard It's better to escape so I'm pulling out the floss I'm in a bread drawer and I'm taking a hiatus Dreamers see straight through the pain I'll pull my head up and forget all my dignity
3.
03:33
You're gonna give me what I want Because if you don't Then who will you turn to It's better than one Can't be runnin' 'til I'm done And I am never fun Aren't we having fun? No, this isn't a game These lies are all the same Do I have appeal? How do I make you feel? Do you feel like you're Not in the swing of things yet? Well I'll bet I'll take a swing and you will hope I miss You're not a friend or foe at all But when the night falls I might let you See how fun it can be To do all I please And all I ask is love Just everlasting love I'll pull you from above And down into my world So twisted and curled Where feelings are unfurled And sealed with a kiss I'll have you living in bliss Calm down my little miss Do you feel like you're Not in the swing of things yet? Well I'll bet I'll take a swing and you will hope I miss If I want it, I'll take it If it hurts, I'll touch it If it scares you, I'll say it If it kills you, I'll fake it If I want it (you gotta be kidding me) If it hurts (there's no way that this can be) If it scares you (you've got to listen to me) If it kills you Look what you've done to me now; now I'm mad If you think you're getting away now, we'll just see I'll tell the world what you think in your head I'll tell the secrets you keep and those you don't I'll say you threatened me with my poor heart I'm always caring for you and this they know I'm everything that you need, can't you see I'll say everything but all you say is that you're Not in the swing of things yet; well I'll bet I'll take a swing and you will hope I miss Not in the swing of things yet? Well I'll bet I'll take a swing and you will hope I miss
4.
03:47
I'm breaking down the lines of the Picture that you drew of us and All I've found is empty holes that You somehow got me to fill again With a plastic rod that was Gifted to me by doctors that I had loved in days ago and Gone by the past with you Giving them advice with twists And turns abound and wrought My hollow eyes to sanctify What was truly the worst idea Of my young life So far I think the world is bleak Because I have begun to leak My effortless induced desire Again that loudly yells to shut me up With a plastic rod that was Gifted to me by doctors that I had loved in days ago and Gone by the past with you Giving them advice with twists And turns abound and wrought My hollow eyes to sanctify What was truly the worst idea Of my young life And yet it feels so frightening That no one ever really wanted to Be a part of your life so bad that They'd pull it out right from underneath Your sheets and somehow leave you Wishing for defeat and so willing you are To see that pain repeat that you would Lie back and try to forget what you could do With a plastic rod that was Gifted to me by doctors that I had loved in days ago and Gone by the past with you Giving them advice with twists And turns abound and wrought My hollow eyes to sanctify What was truly the worst idea Of my young life 'Til now
5.
Down our chimney we fall Upon it and stared So tired and cold We never woke up Into the sky Glows our wicked lie Trembling 'til the ground Swallows all the sound Look, I'm running on my own I'm gonna make friends I'm gonna find peace I'll do it again It's all so brand new I'm gonna find love I'm gonna do it all The world's in my hand I see it so clear The future's so near I've waited so long To go where I belong I know this is alright My destiny's in sight I'm gonna be there I'm gonna be And if I don't come back there's a Box beneath my mattress that will Answer any questions you may Have about the past year Well, I think that maybe I am Not quite as well off as I think I don't know if I can do it I don't know if I ever could Down our chimney we fall Upon it and stared So tired and cold We never woke up Into the sky Glows our wicked lie Trembling 'til the ground Swallows all the sound Look, I'm running on my own I'm gonna make friends I'm gonna find peace I'll do it again It's all so brand new I'm gonna find love I'm gonna do it all The world's in my hand I see it so clear The future's so near I've waited so long To go where I belong I know this is alright My destiny's in sight I'm gonna be there I'm gonna be And if I don't come back will you Please tell my mom and dad that they're Gonna be alright without me Everyday's a mystery And I think that maybe I am Not quite as well off as I think I don't know if I can do it I don't know if I ever can And if I don't come back, you'll see It's better to keep this lesson Wrapped inside me for so long You can't teach them a single thing Well, I think that maybe I am Not quite as well off as I think I don't know if I can do it But I finally get to try Down our chimney we fall Upon it and stared So tired and cold We never woke up Into the sky Glows our wicked lie Trembling 'til the ground Swallows all the sound
6.
Putting all my thoughts aside I never wished that you replied And though this is not what I planned I'll find my safety in wonderland Take your fears and melt away Don't have to face another birthday And though this is not what I planned I'll find my safety in wonderland Give it up, you can't resist Just think of all the times you kissed Your mind is not so dignified You've never been more terrified The thought that I might disappear No eyes to find me over here But though this is not what I planned I'll find my safety in wonderland I know when all's been said and done We might have had a little fun That doesn't mean that I can take The brittle bones or the burning heartbreak I'll find a place where I can hide It's salvation, simplified And though this is not what I planned I'll find my safety in wonderland This world is far too big for me Swallowed by pride and dignity I'll never work a day again Not when I'm drowning in my sin Look, my time is running out Can't stand to face such reigning rout And though this is not what I planned I'll find my safety in wonderland
7.
04:36
Although his words were usually in vain I found a few that really stuck to me Amidst the vows of purest love affair This sorry stain on my timidity Nothing is real, nothing that matters now But time always keeps to its steady pace The present will always become the past The future is the start of something new Just look around at all the days gone by Romanticized into something you knew You have to know that there is no return So come with me and stay a little while And maybe we'll find our perfect paradise Just maybe we'll be the ones who got away Well, I don't know too much about that All time is linked, and loops forever more Any one day could really be my last The present has nothing for me in store This world I own is really not so bad The loneliness is only what I get For all the things I am responsible This perfect dress made of recycled debt And maybe I'll find my perfect paradise Just maybe I am the one who got away And maybe stars will spell my name for me at night Just maybe for once it's all gonna be okay But if it's gonna happen then I want to know the truth 'bout it all When? When? When? When's it gonna happen Can you please tell me that much Or am I too dependent To be worth not being touched Is it true? Is it true? Am I too sad or Am I too soft or Am I not worth it to be happy at all? (x6) And maybe we'll find our perfect paradise Just maybe we'll be the ones who got away Yeah, maybe I will turn myself into the night Just maybe I won't have to worry anymore
8.
04:11
You’re not simply feeling things, it’s all real You’re not simply seeing things, it’s all real You’re not simply hearing things, it’s all real You’re not simply thinking things, oh oh oh She ties a blue ribbon in her hair And loses feeling in her fingers Winter weather starts to fall Bridging up your feelings You’re not simply feeling things, it’s all real You’re not simply seeing things, it’s all real You’re not simply hearing things, it’s all real You’re not simply thinking things, oh oh oh Witness watching in the air One who wakes the living dead And one day we’ll all become Ethereal in our heads Perhaps you’re just seeing things, could it be? Perhaps you’re just hearing things, pour quoi me? Perhaps you’re just thinking things, but, you see You’re never simply feeling things They’ll welcome her with open arms Chew her up and forget to swallow Watching, waiting, once again Hair falling, becoming hollow I’d never admit it, not to you I’d never consider it, that’s not true But perhaps I’ve been thinking things, in my head Perhaps it was real this time, so I hid in my bed Perhaps all the visions that haunted me for days Perhaps all the people who never gave me praise Perhaps the sensations I ignored Perhaps the revelations were foretold Perhaps I’ve been missing every single sign Perhaps I’ve been loving far too hard this time And perhaps she could see it through my eyes Just one last effort to disguise the lies Perhaps this old fabric was my only guise Perhaps
9.
Real Tell me what is real It's been so long Since I've heard a voice that was real Dreams, they tell you what you want to hear So I listened And I found myself fast asleep Safe but locked away That's the bargain that I had to accept Foolish! Tell, can you think of one great hero That was happy just to live their whole life in fear There is nothing here Magic tricks are nothing but just that They're just tricks! Fevered attempts at self-fulfillment I'm so tired And I just need to wake up I don't want to sleep forever I don't want to sleep forever Call my name if you can hear me I so badly want to be free I don't want to sleep forever I don't want to sleep forever Let me out before I am dead I don't want forever bedtime Do you have the time? All the clocks have broken Out of jail and left me Can this really be what I asked? I must be dreaming Of a fate so unkind and fake Paradise is fake A myth that you make up Every time you wonder What if they don't like me? What if I am bad? Words that strong can hold you down forever I don't want to die I just want to fly Up into the sky Gravity defied I don't want to fall So I've got to crawl I don't want to cry So I've got to try It is way too late To apologize This is not my fate This I realize I can have it all I don't need to crawl I'm not satisfied So I've got to try I don't want to sleep forever I don't want to sleep forever Call my name if you can hear me I so badly want to be free I don't want to sleep forever I don't want to sleep forever Let me out before I am dead I don't want forever bedtime Real Tell me how to feel I'm afraid of getting hurt again But I know I don't want to die I just want to fly Up into the sky Gravity defied I don't want to fall So I've got to crawl I don't want to cry So I've got to try It is way too late To apologize This is not my fate This I realize I can have it all I don't need to crawl I'm not satisfied So I've got to try Trust Can you trust in me? Now is the time You can change those tragic endings There's more to life than simply living I won't stop I won't stop until you hear me I don't want to sleep forever I don't want to sleep forever Call my name if you can hear me I so badly want to be free I don't want to sleep forever I don't want to sleep forever Let me out before I am dead I don't want forever bedtime
10.
03:27
We are seven, we are seventeen The world changes, but we stay the same No one tells you that it has to be that way It'll be ok Think for a moment now Back when you were so young Before you had you had your daemons And before you had a chance to run Can you bring your hopeful back? Can you open up your eyes? Just recognize the difference now Does it mean I might be right? It'll be alright Look at the life you've built At the lives we've built upon It's all interconnected It all forms a piece of art Let me see the pain you're in Let me take it on with you It could not have been in vain It's because I am here to say It'll be ok Smile in the new daylight It'll be alright And I'm not hopeless anymore And I'm not hopeless anymore And I'm not hopeless anymore And I'm not hopeless anymore

about

Three years is a long time. Three years is a seventh of my life. Three years is a major portion of an undergraduate degree. Three years is the difference between loving someone and hating them. Three years is how long it's taken me to step back, take a deep breath, and start pulling my brainstem out of my ear. Three years is not enough time to grow up, if that even means anything at all, but it is enough time to gain some perspective on what you once thought was immortal but now seems so short and pathetic. Three years is enough time to parse the result of a three month blow to the head. Three years is long enough to teach yourself how to love yourself, at least a little bit, at the expense of no longer loving someone else, someone who may hurt you, even yourself, too entirely. Three years isn't enough time to have it all figured out. Three years isn't enough time to become content with all the new scars riddling your body. But three years can be enough time to write, record, and produce an album that you subtly start to realize has dulled the effect of her name on you, and has helped you to realize that you have to be your own best friend, not your own worst enemy. I can't promise that this album will do any of this for you. I'm not proud of my vocals, though I am proud of my lyrics and melodies. What I do hope this concept album does, however, is tell you a story of three months turned three long years. In another three years, perhaps I'll have a happier one.

Content warnings: emotional manipulation, physical and sexual abuse, solipsism, surgery.

credits

released December 17, 2016

All tracks written, produced, and recorded by Starla Insigna. Tracks 2, 4-7 and 9 composed by Starla Insigna. Tracks 1, 3, 8, and 10 arranged by Starla Insigna. Track 1 contains a sample of the interlude to Snowfalls by t.A.T.u. Track 8 contains a sample of Still Sane by Lorde. Track 10 contains a sample of Pólko by The Gates Of Sleep.

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