Three years is a long time. Three years is a seventh of my life. Three years is a major portion of an undergraduate degree. Three years is the difference between loving someone and hating them. Three years is how long it's taken me to step back, take a deep breath, and start pulling my brainstem out of my ear. Three years is not enough time to grow up, if that even means anything at all, but it is enough time to gain some perspective on what you once thought was immortal but now seems so short and pathetic. Three years is enough time to parse the result of a three month blow to the head. Three years is long enough to teach yourself how to love yourself, at least a little bit, at the expense of no longer loving someone else, someone who may hurt you, even yourself, too entirely. Three years isn't enough time to have it all figured out. Three years isn't enough time to become content with all the new scars riddling your body. But three years can be enough time to write, record, and produce an album that you subtly start to realize has dulled the effect of her name on you, and has helped you to realize that you have to be your own best friend, not your own worst enemy. I can't promise that this album will do any of this for you. I'm not proud of my vocals, though I am proud of my lyrics and melodies. What I do hope this concept album does, however, is tell you a story of three months turned three long years. In another three years, perhaps I'll have a happier one.
Content warnings: emotional manipulation, physical and sexual abuse, solipsism, surgery.
released December 17, 2016
All tracks written, produced, and recorded by Starla Insigna. Tracks 2, 4-7 and 9 composed by Starla Insigna. Tracks 1, 3, 8, and 10 arranged by Starla Insigna. Track 1 contains a sample of the interlude to Snowfalls by t.A.T.u. Track 8 contains a sample of Still Sane by Lorde. Track 10 contains a sample of Pólko by The Gates Of Sleep.